Category «Humor»

Download E-books Wand of the Witch PDF

By Daniel Arenson

They're again for more!

Misfit Heroes--a fable sequence by way of Daniel Arenson, writer of Song of Dragons--continues with a brand new story of underdog heroes, creepy monsters, and epic adventure.


They say an evil witch lives within the woodland. they are saying she turns teenagers into toads and pigs. they are saying her military of monsters will quickly march to war.

Only the bravest, most powerful heroes can cease her. Unfortunately... just a couple of misfits are around.

A couple failed squires. A jinxed wizard. A banished spirit of the woodland. A childlike demon and her teddy endure. they're outcasts, disasters, oddballs. Can they really defeat the witch, or will the dominion fall to her darkish magic?

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Download E-books F**k It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way PDF

By John C. Parkin

To assert F**k It feels reliable. to prevent suffering and eventually do what you would like . . . to disregard what everyone seems to be telling you and simply move your personal manner . . . feels quite great.In this inspiring and funny booklet, John C. Parkin suggests that announcing F**k It is the right Western expression of the jap religious inspiration of letting cross, giving up, and discovering actual freedom by means of knowing that issues don’t topic lots (if at all).It’s a non secular manner that doesn’t require chanting, meditating, or donning sandals. And it’s the very strength of this modern day profanity that makes it excellent for shaking us Westerners out of the strain and anxiousness that dominate our day-by-day lives.So, tips to say F**k It to your entire difficulties and issues. Say F**k It to the entire “shoulds” on your lifestyles, and at last do what you want—no subject what people imagine!

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Download E-books Intoxerated PDF

By Paul Dickson

A clever, hilarious, and lavishly illustrated consultant to the main euphemised observe within the English language: Drunk

A record-breaking assemblage of 2,964 alternative ways to assert "drunk." Tipsy, roasted, 3 sheets, whazooed and Boris Yeltsinned are only the beginning....With an creation through the wise-guy lexicographer himself, Paul Dickson, and illustrations by way of popular artist Brian Rea.

Dickson, who holds the Guiness international Record for amassing the main phrases for being, er, now not sober, not just presents a dictionary of these phrases, yet finds why there are such a lot of synonyms for being "drunk," and the way he got here to assemble extra of them than somebody else.

The phrases are annotated, too, and lushly illustrated, explaining the twist and turns of a language that has millions of how to claim an identical factor. How, for instance, does a be aware like "blotto" move from the lips of P.G. Wodehouse, into the writings of Edmund Wilson, prior to touchdown with Otto from The Simpson's ("My identify is Otto, i admire to get blotto").

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Download E-books Matilda PDF

By Roald Dahl, Quentin Blake

“The Trunchbull” is not any fit for Matilda!

Matilda is a candy, remarkable younger woman, yet her mom and dad imagine she's only a nuisance. She expects university to be diversified yet there she has to stand pass over Trunchbull, a kid-hating terror of a headmistress. while Matilda is attacked by means of the Trunchbull she abruptly discovers she has a outstanding strength with which to struggle again. it will take a superhuman genius to provide leave out Trunchbull what she merits and Matilda should be simply the single to do it!

"Matilda would certainly move directly to kid's hearts." —The long island occasions booklet Review

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Download E-books Biting the Wax Tadpole: Misadventures of an Armchair Linguist PDF

What can Johnny Cash’s lyrics educate us concerning the little-known Tangut dialect? Is ‘tabernacle’ relatively a swear note in Quebecois? Which language has totally no verbs? what's Earth’s politest insult? and what's biting the wax tadpole really a translation of?*

Prepare for a hilarious rollercoaster journey via thousands of recognized, imprecise, tricky, useless or even made-up languages. Elizabeth Little has waded via innumerable verb tables in each to be had temper and demanding, untangled as much as eighteen circumstances of noun, and wrestled with all types of complex adjective, participles and glottal stops to convey you the easiest and so much weird and wonderful quirks of the methods humans speak everywhere in the globe.

From the language that has no assorted note for ‘blue’ or ‘green’, to why Icelanders want reliable permission to call their little ones, from what makes a Korean television hit to what humans may possibly imagine you’re asserting when you order eggs in Spain, Biting the Wax Tadpole will be certain you’re by no means misplaced for phrases back.

*Coca-Cola, might you suspect it?

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Download E-books Advanced Banter: The Qi Book of Quotations (QI) PDF

By Stephen Fry, Alan Davies, John Mitchinson

The last word compendium of crisp one-liners, knockout jokes, droll asides and common truths amassed through the years through the creators of QI.

'You be aware of 'that look' girls get after they wish intercourse? Me neither.' Steve Martin; 'You can't hinder the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, yet you could hinder them from nesting on your hair.' chinese language proverb; 'The Beatles are demise within the improper order.' Victor Lewis-Smith; 'Cauliflower is not anything yet a cabbage with a school education.' Mark Twain; 'Depend at the rabbit's foot in the event you will, yet consider: it didn't paintings for the rabbit.' R.E. Shay; 'If it weren't for quotations, dialog among gents will be an unending sequence of 'what-ho's!' P. G.Wodehouse

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Download E-books You Might Be a Zombie and Other Bad News: Shocking but Utterly True Facts PDF


You are going to want you by no means picked up this e-book.

a few evidence are too terrifying to coach at school. regrettably, is more than pleased to fill you in:

* A zombie apocalypse? it will probably occur. 50% of people are contaminated with a parasite which could take over your mind.
* The FDA would not allow you to devour insects, correct? truly, you need to placed down these jelly beans. And that apple. And that strawberry yogurt.
* imagine dolphins are our acquaintances? Then those sex-crazed thrill killers of the ocean have you ever correct the place they need you.
* an important discovery within the historical past of genetics? Francis Crick got here up with it whereas on LSD.
* imagine you are going to choose even if to shop for this publication? Scientists say your mind secretly makes your entire judgements 10 seconds ahead of you even be aware of what they're.

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Download E-books The Mammoth Book of Really Silly Jokes: Humour for the whole family (Mammoth Books) PDF

The most important and most sensible number of jokes for the entire relations to take pleasure in. 8,000 rib-ticklers, protecting each topic lower than the sunlight from Aardvarks to Zombies, together with chook jokes, doctor-doctor jokes, elephant jokes, horror jokes, knock-knock jokes, excruciating puns, riddles, tuition jokes, activities jokes and waiter jokes. lots of the jokes are sharp one-liners yet there's additionally a scattering of a bit longer tales.

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Download E-books Prime: A Novel PDF

By Poppy Z. Brite

Years after the outlet of Liquor, New Orleans cooks Rickey and G-man are immersed within the lifetime of their eating place, having fun with a faithful solid of diners, and cooking nice booze-laced nutrients. All’s good until eventually a nasty evaluate in an area paper not-so-subtly tricks that their “silent” backer, star chef Lenny Duveteaux, has ulterior reasons. whilst Lenny is accused of significant criminality by means of eccentric D.A. Placide deal with, Rickey and G-man know it might be time to finish their dependence on him.

When Rickey is out there a plum consulting task at a Dallas eating place, it kind of feels the fitting solution to make stronger their checking account. yet taking the gig will suggest a reunion with Cooper Stark, the older chef with whom Rickey shared an unsettling cocaine-fueled come across again in culinary institution, in addition to facing gung-ho Texas businessman/restaurateur Frank Firestone. At G-man’s urging, Rickey ultimately accepts the supply and revamps Firestone’s menu to rave reviews.

Home in New Orleans, Rickey has simply settled again into his day-by-day kitchen regimen whilst he gets tense info that forces his go back to Dallas. As Placide Treat’s machinations develop ever more strange, G-man learns that there’s extra to the story—and that Rickey is in Texas-size threat.

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Download E-books Deedee Divine's Totally Skewed Guide to Life PDF

By Diana Estill

Winner of the 2010 foreign ebook Award (humor class) and a 2008 ForeWord journal e-book of the yr Finalist.

"The assistance is skewed and the humor is . . . look ahead to it . . . divine!" -- Armchair Interviews

Deedee Divine is "delightfully wacky and without warning wise," says Celia Rivenbark, writer of you cannot Drink All Day for those who do not begin within the Morning.

Find out why Bubbas construct the simplest burgers, males will not use the B-word ("budget"), and the time period "happy camper" is an oxymoron.

From elevating daredevil kids to her struggles with weight loss, Estill mines laughter from her many disasters. somebody who is ever been irritated through postal carrier, frustrated through over the top psycho-babble, or annoyed via the quest for a fool-proof nutrition will locate Estill's takes on such topics refreshingly sincere and unique.

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